GIRLY DRIVEL ALERT!
The Bachelor: Paris wrapped up tonight.
I’ve only been tuning in very sporatically, so forgive me if my analysis is off but:
Was The Bachelor: Paris TOTALLY The Way We Were?!?!
I realize that my readership for this entry has dwindled down to like, two other people, but hear me out….
In The Way We Were, [...]
“I’ve dated heavier girls before,” a co-worker told me once. We were at Yogi’s, and I had a couple drinks (read: 4305934) in me as he made this comment. I raised my eyebrows, eager to hear what came next.
“Yeah, like this one girl I dated, she was like, 5′7, and she ballooned up to like, [...]
It was 5:55 am.
“We’re out of cream cheese,” the young girl said behind the Starbucks drive-thru window. “..and that kind of puts a damper on the whole BAGEL situation.”
“Bitch, PLEASE!” I shouted. And then I put my car in park, jumped out of the window and slapped her. Twice.
Okay, I didn’t. I [...]
“You don’t look pretty when you cry.”
I’ve heard this said in high-pitched voices by mothers consoling their crying daughters in women’s restrooms. In a last-ditch effort to halt the uncontrollable sobbing, a mother will undermine something that essentially differentiates us as women: the will and desire to outwardly express emotion. It’s as if her [...]
Catching up with my old roomies Annie and Leah the other day, we entered into the conversational territory that often peppers twenty-something discussions: Who’s Getting Hitched, Who’s Making Babies. While I know some groups of women out there use such conversations to sigh about non-committing boyfriends and biological clocks, the girls and I have always managed to share a collective sentiment that [...]
I really, really can’t stand Manheim Steamroller.
Some guy yelled at me today because I didn’t know they had a Halloween album.
This made me hate them even more.
*mounts soapbox*
I’m so tired of people not looking at the BIG PICTURE. People allot so much energy toward micromanaging their daily hiccups that it makes me sick. If I could dole out Post-It notes to everyone today, they’d read, “Take a step back, and just enjoy the fucking ride, man.” Maybe I’d doodle a little joint on it. [...]