I just bought eight yards of green sparkly tulle to make a tutu for a Christmas party on Friday. It’s an ugly sweater Christmas party, but honestly? I always have a hard time with that theme. I don’t feel cute in someone else’s gross sweater; I’m sorry.
I know, I KNOW - that’s the point, Ugly [...]
There’s Your Karma.
[dot com.]
Tag Archives: bess
GIVE US A TV SHOW, ALREADY.*
That Just Happened.
INTERIOR. TACO BELL/KFC HYBRID RESTAURANT. BESS AND JENN SCOUR THE MENU FOR TODAY’S LUNCH.
BESS (to JENN): You should get the Black Jack Big Box!
JENN: (squints at menu) What? Oh. It’s a…black taco? Huh.
THE VERY DAPPER AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN WAITING IN LINE JUST IN FRONT OF THEM TURNS AROUND.
MAN: Black is in now.
JENN BLUSHES, GIGGLES NERVOUSLY.
MAN: [...]
Masterplans
Here’s what you missed at lunch today:
Bess: One of my reps sent me a Sam Cooke book.
Jenn: Funny, it sounds like you’re saying “Sam Cookbook.”
Jenn: Holy shit, “Sam CookeBook..” Why didn’t his marketing people THINK of that, before he got shot?!
Bess: By a stripper!
Jenn: Think of it, that’s the best idea of all time.
Bess: A [...]
Bess, Jenn, and the Crab Dip
Bess and I scavenged the fridge at work this morning for holiday party leftovers. This was a real conversation we had, two offices down from one another, via G-chat. Sometimes, friendship means feeling no shame about eating crab dip for breakfast.
Jenn: who knew cream cheese and like cocktail sauce and crab was so good
Bess: no [...]
Reason #2349823 Why I Love Bess Browning
I just found out, literally, at lunch, five minutes ago - that Bess’s grandpa was on Leno as “The Twinkie King.” He consumed one or two twinkies every day for 64 years. He ate them with a banana, because the cream in those spongy cakes was originally banana-flavored, until a banana shortage in WWII led them [...]
Straight Up Now Tell Me
I was feeling particularly bad about myself, midday Saturday. Every now and again I have these days where I look at my life in its current state and my response is a wine bottle, straight to the lips. If that sounds dramatic to you, it is. That’s the result of being an only child. And a [...]
Girl Talk
THIS guy is Girl Talk?
I am torn, people. I am kind of diggin this album. I never really figured out my stance on sampling.
I’m a total flip-flopper on that:
Warren G sampling Michael McDonald? Good.
Kid Rock sampling Warren Zevon? Go fuck yourself.
Regarding Girl Talk’s Feed the Animals, sampling is all you have. That’s all there is. [...]
When You Are Enchanted by Sedaris
The Girls and I decided to start a book club, which we’ve called “The Lady Literates,” because we’re fuckin’ ladies. Our first book was David Sedaris’s new memoir, ”When You are Engulfed in Flames.” This was also centered around the fact that David’s book tour was stopping in our little Broad Ripple bookstore, Big Hat Books.
I adore [...]
I want an Obama-Wonder Ticket
Yesterday morning, I overheard my boss down the hall, mentioning something about Obama, and then Stevie Wonder, and then “free”. I thought of all the things I had to do that night, all the errands I had to run, all the brow hairs that needed plucking, all the cardio I had to do to [...]
Blarney.
I didn’t think St. Patrick’s Day was going to be a big deal in Indianapolis. Little did I know, a large percentage of people (including children and officers of the law) take the day off and get wasted in the streets all day. Bess, Jana, and I discovered this when we attempted to go to [...]
Handing over the Fafa Crown
Bess won our third Celebrity Fantasy league, which makes my username of “Jenn4TheHatTrick” offically obsolete.
That’s all I have to say.
Camille.
Okay, I’m at work, and I feel like cah-rap. I never, ever [knock on wood] get sick, ever. I get head colds like, twice a year. I can’t remember the last time I went home from work due to being sick, and the last time I vomited due to causes excluding alcohol was 1993, and [...]
Just Like a Prayer…
Jana’s birthday party was 80s-themed. I’m always a bit put-off by theme parties because they always involve more effort than I like in getting ready. But as soon as I hit the GOLDMINE that was the 96th street Goodwill, it turned into the highlight of my weekend.
For less than $5, I became the owner of a [...]
G.A.M.E. N.I.G.H.T.
It started when I commented on Brooke’s abundance of obscure 90s trivia. “You are so on my trivial pursuit pop culture team,” I had said.
It was decided that we needed a game night, and Jana was gracious enough to host.
We begin game night with wine and various delicious appeteasers enjoyed by all.
Winos!
Jana with tasty, tasty [...]
Media Motherf*ckers.
These are My Girls, aka, the Ladies With Whom I Work - I’m not sure when I started calling them “My Girls,” possibly just this second.
Left to Right - Bess, Jana, Katie, Me, Brooke.
This wasn’t a special occasion. We dress like this every day.
Many jellow shots later…
