While trying to write for work, I got sucked into The Gorgeous Hussy on TCM. Naturally, it was the title that drew me in, but per usual I found myself completely enamored and wishing I belonged to an era other than my own.
When Robert Taylor came on screen, I felt my heart swell. I guess I have these momentary bouts of love that I can’t really explain. They are ephemeral, but so intense. For about five minutes, I literally feel myself falling in love, my chest aching for this man who died thirty years ago. Seriously, though — perfection. Dream. Boat. Dreamboat.
photo via Meredy.com
Joan Crawford agrees, as her character Peggy swoons in the first act:
“Oh, but he’s so alive — always laughing, always warm, and…and tender.”
THAT’S IT. That’s what I want, I decided, thinking back to a Formspring question asked of me a month ago. Someone so alive - always laughing, always warm, and tender. That head-in-the-clouds mentality f*cks me over every time, but I don’t really care. A year of being single has sent me through the gamut of emotions: ambivalent to tortured, viciously spiteful to hopelessly romantic, and back ’round again.
You know what they say. “Getting back into The Meet Market: It’s like riding a bike!” They’re right. It comes back: Lingered glances over table tops. Feeling sixteen again. Trying to get from Point A to Point B, where Point A is “Top Five Desert Island Albums: Go,” and Point B is OMG JUST KISS ME ON THE MOUTH. Late nights. Green lights.
While you’re busy with all that, you render yourself completely unprepared to deal with what happens next: Mixed signals. Bad timing. Bruised pride. Things left unsaid. Contrary to popular belief, he did not look at you like Kevin Arnold looked at Winnie Cooper. You manufactured the whole damn thing in your head. You are foolish. You are a fool. And it’s terrifying.
“It’s like riding a bike!” A ramshackle, rusty ol’ bike, with a tattered basket and bent handlebars, one where you keep getting your shoelaces caught in the chainwheel so many times, until you’re finally like,”Know what? I think I’ll just walk.”
April 8th, 2010 at 9:08 am
I love your train of thought…as it is exactly what is on my mind. Thanks for this Jenn
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Jenn Reply:
April 8th, 2010 at 9:17 am
I’m glad you like it. I actually slept easier after writing it.
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April 9th, 2010 at 11:38 am
Love it! I really enjoyed reading your blog … & the fact that you were inspired by Robert Taylor, well — he was certainly inspirational!
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April 15th, 2010 at 1:41 am
I go through the same thing, only for me it happens when I see Audrey Hepburn. As for dating…I think I lost my bike….or maybe it was stolen…might have a tricycle around here somewhere.
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April 22nd, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I propose not to wait until you earn enough amount of money to order different goods! You can get the credit loans or bank loan and feel yourself free
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June 12th, 2010 at 2:30 am
Hello! I stumbled upon your profile, which in turn, led me to your blog. I’m not sure what else to say really. It’s quite enchanting, the way you exuded the frilly ideals of adolescence into the melancholic and monotonous world of reality, that ones stripped of innocence can only experience. It was quite refreshing, to find a view point that I by happenstance came across, with the simple statement: “A year of being single has sent me through the gamut of emotions: ambivalent to tortured, viciously spiteful to hopelessly romantic, and back ’round again.”, which eventually led me on a slippery downward spirals of aimlessly clicking on highlighted phrases for the better part of my night, captivated by the different nuances to each individual story and experience. IMHO, by carousing through your other blogs, I can safely say that you are by no means unattractive, and should not consider yourself as such. Don’t care about how you think people might think of you, consider how you want to be thought of. Carry yourself as such, and don’t look back! Also, props on seducing Apolo Ohno. that’s some dedication.(I may have went overboard… *shrugs*)
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