When New Year’s came around and you asked me about resolutions, I told you I had none. That was a lie. I had one, known only to myself, whispered when the clock struck midnight: I’m going to leave my job by the end of 2010.

I did not expect it to happen in the middle of January.

I had grown…restless. After two years, I had transitioned from from being a media rockstar to having panic attacks when I would look at these spreadsheets, pregnant with data. And then I did perhaps the stupidest thing: I wore it on my sleeve. 

You know when you were in high school, and you were dating some guy, but he wanted to break up with you? And instead of just manning up and breaking up with you, he treated you like shit, so you would break up with him?

I was that guy. I was the asshole. I never knew I could be the asshole.

Still, just like in any relationship, people change. I had changed. The same things that revved me up a couple years ago made me want to impale myself of an overturned chair as of late. We had given up on each other. So when the question came: “This isn’t exactly working, is it?” the answer was an emphatic, “No.”

Then, a flash flood of emotion. Shame, guilt, sadness.  Relief, happiness, pride. So I now find myself unemployed during the worst economic crisis I will probably ever see in my lifetime. And while you, the more logical of you, are bound to click your tongues and shake your heads — those of  you who know me well will understand that this is a necessary blip in the journey to fulfilling my life’s purpose.

Today was “Day One of Being Unemployed,” or as I like to call it,”Being an Unmarried Housewife Until the Money Runs Out.” Not every day is going to be like this. But I needed today to be JUST like this.  I needed to watch Martha Stewart and Julie Andrews make fairyland terrariums. I needed to catch up on my stories (General Hospital). I needed to eat cookie cake.

Perhaps the best decision I made today was listening to the Funny Girl LP while cleaning the kitchen. If this blog teaches you nothing else, let it be this gem: When you find yourself at a crossroads, turn to Barbra Streisand. 

CASE IN POINT: FUNNY GIRL

“I’m the greatest star.”

“Who is the pip with pizazz? Who is all ginger and jazz?” (”ME! I AM!” you answer, hands thrust into dirty dishwater, sudsy rag thrown over your shoulder.)

“Someday they’ll clam-uh for my dram-uh.” 

“Ooh life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir.” 

“First, be a person who needs people.” (’cuz they’re the luckiest. the luckiest people in the world.)

“Life is candy and the sun’s a ball of butt-uh.”

WAY TO GO, BABS. Way to hand me this musical torch, lit with gusto and moxie. 

I CAN DO ANYTHING.

Riiiight after I finish this cookie cake. 

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