You may remember that I did the Master Cleanse last year with great results. Yes, the Master Cleanse, with lemons and maple syrup and cayenne pepper. It sounds stupid and insane, and it is most certainly both of those things. You can show me 2349827342 articles that say it’s unhealthy or pointless or placebo and I will still do it, because I came out the other side feeling more clear-headed and more fabulous than I have in a long time. Granted, it took at least three days to reach that plateau, as those around me may recall. I may have asked to simply smell your nacho cheese sauce. You may have had to tear me away from an ENTIRE DAY of watching the Food Network because I was sadistic and obsessed. May.
On Saturday, I’ll venture into that territory again, and it couldn’t come at a better time. Like many, I reach a point where stressful workday = pad thai and anything even mildly upsetting = where is that bottle of chardonnay oh yeah I drank it.
It’s a weird phenomenon, but I’m much more successful at resisting food altogether than choosing a nectarine over the noodles and water over wine. I have a fridge stocked with glorious food (organic, expensive food) and last night I had a burger served on TEXAS TOAST.
(Okay, but can we talk about this for a second? It really was a glorious burger. Medium-rare and glistening and tender and awesome. It was at the Nickel Plate, in Fishers. They don’t have a website, but here’s a dining guide, with only one review, and it simply says “Tenderloins,” so you KNOW this place is where it’s at. Oh no wait. They have a website. And I’m too lazy to go delete the thing about the Tenderloins. Best parenthetical ever!)
Anyway. I’m going through some pretty heady shit right now, and I’m just trying to get it together. I’m hoping this detox will help recondition me to come here and write my feelings, instead of my typical coping mechanism — washing them down with jack daniels.
From what I remember it, the absence of food/thinking about food frees up a LOT of time. How else can I explain an entire series of self-portraits with lemons? I spent a lot of time with lemons.
Weird.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
[...] There’s Your Karma. put an intriguing blog post on Spring Cleaning 2009Here’s a quick excerptYou may remember that I did the Master Cleanse last year with great results. Yes, the Master Cleanse , with lemons and maple syrup and cayenne pepper. It sounds stupid and insane, and it is most certainly both of those things. You can show me 2349827342 articles that say it’s unhealthy or pointless or placebo and I will still do it, because I came out the other side feeling more clear-headed and more fabulous than I have in a long time. Granted, it took at least three days to reach that pla [...]
February 18th, 2009 at 7:55 am
i don’t think i could give up chicken mcnuggets for that long.
[Reply]
February 18th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Mmmmm Chicken McNuggets
[Reply]
February 19th, 2009 at 11:16 am
i’ma go get some right now!
[Reply]
Jenn Reply:
February 19th, 2009 at 11:33 am
I think I might have some for dinner. You know, in sort of a “fond farewell” gesture. (THIS IS WHY I NEED TO GO ON THE CLEANSE. WHY AM I ATTACHING TENDER EMOTIONS TO FOOD. JESUS.)
[Reply]