I haven’t touched on this yet, but during my blogging sabbatical some MAJOR SH*T happened at my place of work. The dramz revolved around our largest client, who is now our former client. Most of you know who this former client is, and because of online search capabilities and residual contractual obligations, I will not name them here. If you’re new, let’s just say it is a well-known restaurant chain that rhymes with FLAKE ‘n BAKE.
[If this entry was one of those children books with the sound effect buttons on the side, every time I mention "FLAKE 'n BAKE" I'd want you to hit the button that went "BOOOOO! HISSSSSSS!" Can you imagine that for me? Good, good.]
Today, I completed the VERY LAST THING I had to do for the Flake ‘n Bake account, which was to drop off invoices for their media billing. I had this fantasy where I’d walk up to the receptionist and SLAM the manilla folder down on the desk, spit some one liner and then cooly turn and walk away. And then maybe the logo-etched glass doors would shatter behind me. And then maybe the building would blow up as I walked calmly back to my car. Basically, dropping off billing + Michael Bay. That’s what I was thinking.
So I head to FnB headquarters and step into the elevator, which was being held for me by a middle aged man who was jokingly telling me to hurry up. “Where you headed?” he asked. “Five,” I cheerily replied, happy to be doing this for the last time. “Flake ‘n Bake!”
“Flake ‘n Bake, huh? Is the receptionist right there? Right when you step in?”
“Yeah.”
As if the personal space in an elevator isn’t awkward enough, he got real close to my face, and through clenched yellowed-teeth, sneered,
“Tell her the MILKSHAKE MAN says hello.”
He departed on level three, giving me two levels to wonder what the eff happened before the doors opened to the corporate cesspool that is Flake ‘n Bake headquarters. The elevator encounter was so weird that it totally thew me off as I approached the receptionist.
She was on the phone, so that one-liner would have been completely wasted. And surely I would have been blown up with the building, waiting for that damn elevator.
January 9th, 2009 at 7:40 am
i’ve made it a habit to imagine every as “+ michael bay.” if you don’t already, you should follow fake michael bay on twitter. hilarious.http://twitter.com/michael_baymy favorite tweet as of late: “I have a bad habit of sleep-kickboxing. My apologies to the neighbors”
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January 9th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Oh, yeah, definitely following him.
KABOOM.
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January 9th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Did you stick your head in to say hey to Baby Gap?
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January 9th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
I flashed her through the window.
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January 10th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
That guy had been waiting months to lay down that sweet gem on someone… and you were the lucky person. That’s a good feeling, eh?Either that or he just shared way too much information with a stranger. In which case, no more vanilla milkshakes for me.
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