Don’t Say This Blog Never Taught You Nuthin’.

Posted by Jenn on September 24, 2008 at 11:59 am.

I just learned that to survive a grizzly bear attack you should play dead, and to survive a black bear attack you should fight back.

I did not know that. Most of you probably did, and it will be like that one time when I was like “Hey! Hey you guys. Did you know that Toto’s Rosanna was written about Rosanna Arquette?” And you all stare at me blankly, virtually, like everyone in the world knows that.

I’ll tuck this knowledge away, although I doubt I’ll ever use it. I can’t think of any situation in the past decade that has put me anywhere near the threat of bears. My lover is more the indoorsy-gaming type than rugged-camping type, so I don’t anticipate a trip to Yellowstone anytime soon.
That said, I would not place bets on me winning, versus the black bear.  I’m pretty sure my fight-or-flight switch is turned permanently to “flight.” This can best be illustrated by that one time I visited the Exotic Feline Rescue Center, and ran behind Annie the second a lion roared.

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9 Responses to “Don’t Say This Blog Never Taught You Nuthin’.”

  • A grizzly bear once looked at me in the wild and scared the shit out of me but I bet I could take a black bear down. You know, depending on the size of it and all.

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  • So, do Grizzlies and Black bears look different enough to be able to figure out which fighting style to use?

    PS - Why is my daughter screaming? I should probably go see.

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  • If I saw a bear I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t think… “Hmmm, what color is it? Do I fight or do I flight? What was it that Jenn’s livejournal post said?!?! Ah, I should fight…. got it!”

    My rugged-camping type boyfriend said “Yeah, I knew that… and who doesn’t know the difference between a grizzly and a black bear?!” To which I replied “Uh, me!”

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  • 4
    daytripper83 Says:

    It might help if you think brown vs. black. I actually specified “grizzly bear” because I thought everyone was going to laugh at me if I said “brown bear.” I thought surely someone would be like, “WTF is this ‘brown bear’, it’s a GRIZZLY.”

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  • 5
    daytripper83 Says:

    Yes. Google it. For both questions.

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  • 6
    daytripper83 Says:

    I have no doubts about that, friend.

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  • Grizzlies are generally brown and large while black bears are smaller and…black :)

    They also dont live too much in the same parts of the country I dont think.

    You’re killing me here, why was she screaming?

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  • She wasn’t getting her way. No worries.:)

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  • 9
    suckas_b_ware Says:

    See, I think I could stun the bear by asking it’s race. You know, like, “Are you sure you’re a Black Bear? I mean, you look more Brown. Where are you from? Your accent says Nigeria, but you kinda seem more Indian.” Then while it’s perplexed and somewhat offended I’d run.

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