I went bowling last night.

The friends that have known me for a long time are going, “Wha? Bullshit.”  That’s because I never go bowling.  I fully understand that bowling is a perfectly well-rounded group activity.  And it’s not so much that I hate the sport itself – it’s just that I hate being bad at things in front of groups of people.   And when I tell you I’m bad, I mean it.  If a group of my closest friends plan an evening out that involves bowling, I will completely decline.  I feel that strongly about it.

My co-workers and I were treated by NCC, which is a spot cable sales firm.  When the invite was sent out, I signed up in a hurry, because it was at Jillian’s, and I knew that Jillian’s has skee-ball (which I am not bad at).    Nevertheless, I got a confirmation e-mail that had put all of us onto bowling teams.  I immediately came up with a million different ways I could bow out.  And then I thought, Jenny, you know what, you have to suck it up and be a team player sometimes, even when you are so bad you can barely even be considered a player. Plus, there was free booze and finger snacks, and I have a really hard time turning that shit down.

In my lane, it was me, Dave and Brooke and two people from NCC.  Er, one of them was from NCC and the other one was his girlfriend, who used to work for NCC. Or something.  I don’t know.  But they were dating, and it kind of felt like we were incringing on their date.  Eventually they just kind of ignored us and I used that time to entertain Dave and Brooke with my dance moves.  It’s the only way I can distract from the suckage that is my bowling technique.  I was hoping it would be like beer pong — that I would get better the more I drank.  Not the case…

I will not tell you how poorly I bowled, but I will tell you I did not break 100.

Even if you add my two games together.