After work today I trekked down to the Washington Square Mall.  This is what I do now, in Indianapolis, until I find out where the cool places are — I go to one of its 239487234 malls. [So Midwestern! It's like Tiffany will show up any second!]  This mall in particular had a Steve and Barry’s, which carries Sarah Jessica Parker’s new line, Bitten.  I’m not going to lie to you — this was the only reason I went to this particular mall.  Why? Because I am a consumerist whore, that’s why.  Because somehow I think:

“ZOMG — CARRIE BRADSHAW is making clothes for me to buy! Fetch my purse! ”

I thought it was worth a try, although ultimately kept low expectations.  Clothes that are marketed as inexpensive and universal (”for every age! for every size!”) rarely look good on anyone.  I grabbed clothes in my size, and the size higher, because, um, hi, Sarah Jessica, you is skinny.  The pants fit perfectly to size, if you discount the three inches of pasty white ankle at the bottom.  Next size up was comfy but just loose enough around the waist to beckon an easy pantsing (the threat of which happens more often than I care to admit).  Thanks, SJP – I can lose weight. I cannot, however, get shorter.  I won’t dog her work, though.  There are some good pieces in there, and awesomely cheap jewelry.  Being poor takes the fun out of shopping, though, even for really cheap stuff.   I walked out empty handed, went to Target and bought an “I [heart] Jim” (as in Halpert) mug for $1. Joy.