I went to a Unitarian Universalist church service on Sunday.  I keep going over the experience in my head, and I still can’t figure out what I really thought about it.  Last time I went to Church was a Catholic wedding last fall.  Before that was probably Christmas of 2001?  And before that, maybe my Confirmation in like 1997?  (See what good that did?) And before that, from first through eighth grade, I went every damn week.

There were some things about the Unitarian Universalist setting that made me uncomfortable — like how “first-timers” are kind of singled out — princess parking, different colored coffee mugs at the fellowship mingling, nametags, etc.  This was so weird for me, because, being Catholic — you’re never really new — your parents were Catholic, their parents were, and so on.  I skipped the whole foyer area and ducked inside.  Surprisingly?  I missed the iconography:  I missed the stained glass, the old wood of the pews, the marble statues.  I also did not expect to miss the ritual of the Catholic mass, the rhythm, the automation.  (All of which were reasons for me avoiding worship services.  Truth be told, I found myself zoning out at the UU service much like I would in any Catholic mass, which may mean that the whole Church thing? Not really for me.)

There were some parts that I really liked — the guest speakers, an inspirational poem, the harp-playing.  There were some parts that were really weird, like a group sing-a-long that included, All God’s Critters Have a Place in the Choir. (In fact, the hymns sung were really short and I felt like I was at fucking Woodstock for PETA.) While I don’t like the rigidity of Catholicism, I felt like the UU service was so ambiguous, I couldn’t take anything away from it.  From what I can gather from my research and this experience, it’s kind of like a U-Pick-It of religions.

The BEST PART of this whole experience was the conversation I had with my mother about it later that day.

Me: I went to a Unitarian Universalist service today.
Mom: Why didn’t you just go to a Catholic service?
Me: I’m trying to learn about different religions.  I’m going to visit as many churches as I can this year.
Mom: Aren’t the Unitarians really liberal?
Me:   They are really socially progressive, yeah.
Mom: They believe in gay marriage, don’t they?
Me: Well, they support same-sex couples, so yeah, I guess.
Mom: I heard they are pro-gay marriage because there are sects that want to bring back polygamy and polyandry.
Me: Noooo. Are you sure, Mom?
Mom: …I think I read that somewhere.

Despite the fact that my mother has not been to Church in many years, the fact that I am attending non-Catholic services makes her really uncomfortable.  I almost laughed when this verbal exchange took place a few minutes later…

Me [on going back to the Catholic Church]: I just don’t think I can associate myself with the Catholic church anymore.  Too many discrepancies with all the values! What about pro-choice?! Women aren’t even allowed major positions in the clergy! And I don’t think the Church will support me living with my boyfriend, IN SIN! And what about the gay marriage thing?
Mom: What if you changed your stance on gay marriage?

Just like that, ha! I cannot believe my mother —  this great woman whom I love, admire, and respect – would even say that.  We spar about gay marriage every couple months now, and it always ends with me making some big philosophical gesture on ”progress” and my mother saying something like,
“Kids your age have all these ideas, but you never really think it through.”