So.

The crying spells, irritability, mood swings?  Out of control.  They are out of my control.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I finally admitted to myself, yesterday, that I don’t know how to fix this.
I don’t know how to make myself better.

Another realization?  No one, no matter how much they love me or care for my well-being, can help this time.  Because it’s not about making me feel better after a Bad Day, it’s about getting me to surface while flailing in a pool of self-pity for a Bad Life –  a ”Bad Life,” only in the current state of my head, of course.  [Actual Life's Greatness is Closer Than It Appears.] I have so much for which to be grateful. I need to get some clarity, is all.

So.

I’ve been down this road before.  I know the symptoms; I understand the protocol.  Part of me knows, now matter how many professional opinions I seek, that they will more or less come to the same conclusion.  That part of me is the reason why it’s taken so long for me to get here.  But I’m here.

I’m posting this because I can’t not talk about it.
I’m posting this because I wear my heart on my blog.