Make sure I have all my papers
Laying out my summer clothes
Search for traps in vain like scratching
So my suitcase I can close
~ Rufus Wainwright, “Barcelona”

Today, I start packing for my trip to Hawaii…

… I went to the mall today in search of perfect brown wedge sandals.  After two hours, I finally found THE pair, but the sales associate only had ONE shoe in my size.  He lost the “mate,” as he called it.  I called him “shoe tease” before storming out.

… While waiting for my Subway sub to toast, the Sandwich Artist* commented on my Who shirt.
“You like the Who?”
“No, you fucker. I just like the shirt.”
“Yup.”
“…I don’t like the Who.”
“No?”
“Naw. I got into a fight with the lead singer, in Florida.”
“You’re telling me you got into a fight with Roger Daltrey?”
“He threw a drink on my buddy.”

I wondered if he was telling the truth.  Then I realized I didn’t care, either way. I also got a “WOOO! THE WHO! ROCK ON!”  shout from some random teenage kid in the parking lot.  I could write a column about The Who shirt’s mystical powers, but I don’t want to spur a wave of poseurs.  That’s what Ryan Seacrest is for.

… I was picking up some disposable latex gloves at Target (for coloring my hair), and I found the copy on the packaging really disturbing.  As a student of marketing, I normally appreciate Target’s minimalist approach for their generic product, but this struck me as creepy:

“Cleaning…disposable latex gloves…for cleaning, polishing and household use…30 pack.

…nothing beats the feeling of clean.  when everything is bright and sparkly.  when your life is spotless and the possibilities are endless.  and just for a moment - sigh - everything is perfect. until it’s time to clean again. ”

What the fuck, Target?

*”Sandwich Artist” is an homage to Stadt and that one summer he worked at Subway.