Um…will someone pleaaaase take me to the Bloomington Wine Festival?
Okay, I know, it’s $30, but! It’s a WINE FESTIVAL.
(Plus, all the proceeds go to the Boys and Girls Club of Bloomington, so you can get drunk AND donate to charity at the same time.  That’s so bourgeois!)

There’s a wine bar kiddy-corner (Hoosiers read: “katty-corner“) from my house. (Only insufficient funds have saved me from becoming an alcoholic.)  On a day off, I stopped by to read Rolling Stone and have a few glasses of Chardonnay.  I know only the VERY BASICS of wine tasting, and I’m only starting to distinguish different nuances and flavors among wines.  I was there for a while, and my server was super cool and hooked me up with a Chardonnay she thought I might like.

“Ooh, it’s so…buttery!” I cooed as I let the wine roll around in my mouth.  And the other flavors! Honey! Vanilla!  Heavenly! I took the name and year down in case I ever wanted to give myself a treat — you know, throw some money down on a nice bottle of wine sometime.

Nope! Do you know how much Bogle Chardonnay is?  $9.99.  I was freaking out over a ten-dollar bottle of wine.

I am such a naive motherfucker.