I was asked to participate in this focus group for the Dean of Students this morning…you know, discuss IU’s brand image, yada yada…

I show up to find THE MOST ATTRACTIVE focus group to have ever focus-grouped.

I wish I could have said something witty to really make myself stand out, but I had nothin’. Any potentially charming comment I had was quashed as soon as the cute, slightly-emo boy named James explained that he was a grad student, getting his PhD in Political Science — my mind was too busy entertaining the immediate fantasy of fucking him on the large oak boardroom table that we were gathered around.

Every word out of his mouth was intelligent and so well-said that I had to consciously focus on keeping my mouth closed so as not to blurt out, “I love you”…or, “Do me, NOW”…or, “I want to have your smart, slightly-emo babies.”